#DEARME — April 17, 2015

I know that #DEARME is a YouTube thing (I think) BUT, I think it is an awesome prompt for a deep and well thought out blog post tonight. It is 11:44. Lets do this.

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DEAR ME: You are going to go through a very traumatic and life-changing occurrence in a swimming pool one summer. Do NOT let it change you, and do not blame yourself. What happened was beyond your control, and no matter how hard you fought, what happened, happened. Tell someone as soon as you get home that Sunday morning. Do not wait to confess to it on an anonymous questioning site almost 4 years later. Take deep breaths and realize that you cannot let that terrible man jack up your future. Hang in there, girlfriend.

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DEAR ME: You are going to be bullied in 6th grade by a group you thought were your friends at the time. Again, don’t blame yourself. We were all catty and trying to grow up too fast. When you leave that school at the end of your school year, do not completely forget your experience there, for you learned a lot about yourself that year and found a true group of friends who really cared about you. Be prepared for the worst, because the next two years of your life might be the worst so far.

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DEAR ME: You are going to get into a bad habit that will hold you down from multiple opportunities throughout the next 4 years of your life. Stay strong, even when the world seems like it sucks, do not bring that razor into your business. Keep up with your grades and don’t push away from your mom, because in reality, she’s all you got.

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DEAR ME: It is weird to think about now, but you will hate God for a while. You will go to a church where you do not feel very accepted, and assume that just because a couple mean girls said something about your scars when you walk into Sunday School, does not mean that all Christians are like that. By the end of 8th grade, you will lose your best friend since 6th grade. It’s gonna hurt for a while, you are not gonna know who to turn to for advice, but stick close to your writings and Skype for crucial moments. Remember that people have lives other then on a screen, and do not beat yourself up when he doesn’t answer certain messages or phone calls. He is not ignoring you, he has things to do.

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DEAR ME: Freshman year of high school will tear you down. There is no easier way to put it, but point blank, it sucks. But the quote always did go, “It has to get worse before it can get better.” I wish September 12th and 13th were just random days to you, but the pill bottle gets the best of you. Stay strong and get through that week in the hospital. Do not feel discouraged or unloved, because when you get home you will be highly surprised and encouraged by the amount of people that cared about your health and your whereabouts for that whole week. On May 21, you will go to FSKO and get saved, although you do not take the next step, baptism. You do not understand at the time what exactly being ‘saved’ means, but you were at the point of just going higher and higher into God’s Word. You begin loving yourself again, stop going to the blade, and talking to people again. You will meet a boy who turns your world upside down, with laughter, love, and compassion for your well-being. It will suck to let him go, but it has to be done. Do not go back to him. You don’t need no man anyways.

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DEAR ME: You are going into 10th grade with a smiling face, clean body, and excitement to meet new people. You will make friends immediately that will last you through the whole year, and hopefully the rest of your high school years. Do not judge a teacher by the first day, because little do you know is that your most disliked teacher one day will be your most liked teacher by the first month of getting to know her.

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DEAR ME: September will be a busy month, full of awesome and not so awesome things. On the 3rd, you believed. On the 28th, you were baptized. On the 1st (Nov) you will go through your first anxiety attack and the scariest experience of your life, your first car accident. It will bring you closer than ever to your two best friends, and will end up being for the better eventually. Soon enough, you will feel safe in a car again.

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DEAR ME–PRESENT: You will go through your first heartbreak, but like I said, you don’t need no man right now! You have such an amazing and supportive friend system in the school, church, and dance setting. Keep your friends close and work to encourage and make them laugh every day! Keep up with your writing and dancing, to keep from going insane. Love yourself. Stay Strong. Love and Serve God EVERYDAY. Love people. Sing, dance, eat, go cray and don’t worry about what people think of you! Stop gossiping and start praying. You can still worry about other people, but do not push  your needs under the rug. You are important too.

Love, Me. Hopetooturnt.