weird

I have one word to explain what college feels like so far.

Weird.

I have always said that weird is good, and I still mean that. Weird is quirky, its fun, its not normal..and that’s how college is for me.

I love it, y’all. I love college. I don’t love being away from my home and mom, but I love being surrounded by new things. Y’all know I love change and I hate routine, and I have none of that here. My classes aren’t back to back, I don’t have to wake up at the same time every day, I never really know what the day is going to bring.

I have met an amazing group of friends and continue to meet super cool people who love God and have so many passions and things about them that honestly inspire me.

Don’t get me wrong, I really loved what Columbia had for me. It was home, and still is home. But I knew in my heart I needed to break out of there one way or another. I really miss my mom and her cooking. I miss my dog and cat. I miss my dance family. It was weird to see the seniors this year and to think, I was literally just them one year ago. I was so lost in what I wanted my life to become, I was still trying to follow MY plan for my life. A year ago, I didn’t even know if I could get into college. I was so scared, to be honest. I never thought I could move away from everyone and be on my own.

I discovered on my second day here that my personality type was “INFP” (Introvert Intuitive Feeling Perceiving) and it seriously confused me that I was an introvert. I am so bouncy and bubbly and ready to meet new people-except when I can’t ignore. My anxieties, my flaws, my fear of messing up. Sometimes its so hard for me to talk to people, because I’m so focused on thinking about what they are thinking about me-do I smell bad? Do they think my hair is ugly? Am I annoying them? Theres a whole list of fears I have when talking to people. I’m not the best with eye contact-which eye do I look at? There is no actual ending to this, I just wanted to tell y’all. Y’all are my buds.

 

I can’t wait to see what this year has for me. For right now, I am just trying to get through it day by day and see what works. We got dis.

 

♫ song of the day // beat of my drum-POWERS

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