vertical scar

There is a boy in my social studies class. I don’t mean to put him on blast, but today I noticed something different about him. He always has been different than the rest of the class and even school, but when I was talking to him I noticed it, a vertical scar. It was white, and has little horizontal lines, about one centimeter away from each other. I spent awhile standing there, lost in my thoughts, not even realizing that my other friend was talking to me. “When was that?” I asked, and pointed at his left arm. He just looked at it and said, “Eighth grade”. We are both in tenth, so that means 2 years ago. It hurt to see. He had already moved on from the subject, in a different conversation, but I had about a gazillion questions clouding my mind. Why would he try to do that? “Are you ok now?” I didn’t know if that was the right question to ask, but it still slipped. He just looked confused and said “Yeah,” and looked away from me completely. He moved to SC in eighth grade. He went to CMS, which does not always have a very nice connotation where I live. I left and went back to my seat, defeated in a way. It was a huge reality smack to me to see that some of the things I had gone through in my past, other people have gone through even younger than I. It sucked to know that he, and so many other people, got so sad that they could take themselves off this world forever. I hear some of my peer’s late night thoughts almost every night. I just want to hold them forever. Make sure they re okay.

But, I can’t save their soul for them.

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