Struggles, Anxiety, Insecurity…

Long time no write, (again) Sorry bout that. HOPE y’all beautiful ppl of the world are doing well, I have been praying for good weeks and good nights this whole week.

Thinking of ‘good’ topics to write about can kinda be hard for me, because I don’t know everyone’s daily struggles. You only know what people actually tell you. I like learning about people, I have said it multiple times. It calms me to hear about other people and their fears, dreams, aspirations, future plans, sad nights, etc. Especially knowing that some of the rough things I go through, I do not go through alone; And that we all go through periods of sadness, anger, anxiety, etc.

I asked one of my best friends, “What do you feel is your biggest daily struggle, in one to two words?” My friend immediately responded with the words, ‘My weight. Body insecurity’. I asked her this question not for her to remember the bad, but remind her of the good. I know what you are thinking, ‘dang this is gonna be like all your other posts isn’t it, Hope?” Probably so. I have one goal for this blog, and that is to HELP. To LOVE. And to SERVE GOD. I want to let erryone know how special they truly are, and hopefully lead a beautiful and positive attitude that is contagious and reading my posts, I want to make your day better.

Hey, by the way. You’re hot.

Sometimes it is hard to talk about stuff like anxiety, depression, self harm, anything really that is a mental disorder, (which by the way, is out of the person’s control) and I remember when I first started believing in Jesus, which was about 7 months ago. Can I be real with y’all for like, 2 secs? I used to self harm. Take a blade to  my arm. I am NOT, in ANY WAY, proud of it now, looking back. I have experienced a lot of scary and devastating nights, but that is another story for another day.

I constantly asked myself, and later on my youth pastor, ‘is depression a sin?’ Of course, because my youth pastor is an insightful and thoughtful guy, he went into this whole shpeel about the actual subject. Basically, no mental disorder is a direct sin. I could go into the scientific aspect of it, but I am not a doctor and furthermore, I do not know much about it, so I will keep my electronic mouth shut. You can NOT control your anxiety and panic attacks. If you have a relapse of depression, it is okay, as long as you are okay and don’t put your emotions into an impulse decision. If you harm yourself, God goes not grow angry. He aches and hurts for you. The main and biggest advice I can give you for any situation, even if you do not suffer from any mental disorders: is P R A Y.

I have this little prayer card on my desk next to my laptop, bible, etc. It says: “When you need help, ASK GOD. When you don’t, THANK GOD.” I think that it is such a good reminder, because even when your life is going great and you could not be any happier with the people, fellowship, etc, God still would love to hear from you. Just a simple Thank you, King Jesus is good.

Hmu on my social media if you have any questions, concerns, or if you just want to be friends!

~Instagram// @hopetooturnt

~Twitter// @hopetooturnt

I hope my post kinda helped some, I hope you all have an awesome night and the rest of your weekend, remember that SCHOOL IS SOO CLOSE TO BEING OVER! Love y’all, stay turnt!


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